yeah he was shot

impetus101@yahoo.com — Mon, 15 Jul 2002 00:58:32 GMT

after a year of fervidus_tears, i think i've outgrown it. that's right, i have a new one. add me if you actually read my banter, and here's the link.

i'll add you if you're lucky.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Mon, 15 Jul 2002 00:28:03 GMT

to look past the wide-eyed, fire-bellied ignorance spouted by the "radicals" of society and see the conformity in their speech, disillusions in the truest sense of the word. we should take every aspect of how we live on this earth and question it, poke and prod it, figure out why we do what we do and what we should do differently. what's "taboo"? what's "normal"? why not take every single principle and outlook and see it through the eyes of a toddler or alien? the most basic foundations of how we live life as first-world citizens definitely deserves thought. how much water do i use a day? how much water do i have to use? how much food do i eat? enough to survive? enough to be satisfied? more than enough? how much money do i spend daily? weekly? how much should i? how much must i? ask these and other basic questions about yourself and then about the rest of the world. things are definitely changing here. everything starts in the mind.

daily global economic statistic for you.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sat, 13 Jul 2002 16:15:56 GMT

Today, across the world, 1.3 billion people live on less than one dollar a day; 3 billion live on under two dollars a day

the iron hand of the people will prevail

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sat, 13 Jul 2002 14:14:51 GMT

yuck i hate yardwork.

my brother is watching spongebob and he's going on a rant about worker's rights and the fate of labor through unionization and the dismantling of oppressive institutions... it's pure genius.

yooowwww

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sat, 13 Jul 2002 01:54:24 GMT

somebody quench that fire...

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 12 Jul 2002 04:49:03 GMT

free the yuppie: liberation
free the yuppie: the lofty word that can be used for anything illicit
free the yuppie: let's 'liberate that lexus'
free the yuppie: see, it sounds better than steal
BiggerNotBroken: haha
BiggerNotBroken: lets liberate those girls of their virginity.
free the yuppie: hahahha
free the yuppie: see
free the yuppie: they're breaking free
BiggerNotBroken: its been keeping them down for too long
free the yuppie: those shackles of oppression must be broken

peter tosh.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 12 Jul 2002 03:35:42 GMT

yeah mary came and picked me up and we swam in jordan's community pool tonight. i have to say, it was good seeing my friends again. and yeah the trip was good... but it's good to be home. i forgot how great things really are down here.

i'm sort of apprehensive..

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 12 Jul 2002 00:15:00 GMT

i'm home i'm home i'm home. whew.

ps- wishes of happiness to the birthday girl :)

an e-mail from my alex.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sun, 07 Jul 2002 02:45:05 GMT

Subject: My Dearest Love...
To: impetus101@yahoo.com

Once upon a time there was a princess named Alexandra. She was a very fickle princess and could not find a handsome prince to marry in all the lands... that is until she stumbled upon Prince Gino. He was the most fantastic thing she had encoutnered since Mountain Dew Slurpees and Lip Gloss. "Yes she thought I must marry him..." THE END

thanks for making me smile darling. :)

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 05 Jul 2002 14:08:33 GMT

hopefully the twelve-gauge shotgun won't bruise my shoulder... again. haha

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 05 Jul 2002 05:14:49 GMT

i went by walden's pond today... the very setting of henry thoreau's 'walden'. that had to be my highlight. boston was great. the ambience is spectacular. harvard wasn't very impressive... the elite? cream of the crop? come onnnnnn. oh and i found out how ridiculously expensive it would be to live there... even to rent.

and everyone in my family makes fun of me because of the blanket i sleep with. i've had it all my life and it was sewn by indigenous guambiyanos in the andes of south america... i didn't even remember this until recently... i just like it because it's soft and maternal. apparently the pink, white and yellow squares are dorky. try ethnic, fools.

geeeez

if you knew what life was worth, you would look for yours on earth

impetus101@yahoo.com — Thu, 04 Jul 2002 14:54:57 GMT

off to big ol' boston today. the hijackers took off from boston. there's security like whoa. does it bother me? nope. i mean come on, what are the odds that if there was an attack, i'd be affected? that sounds very selfish, i know... but i'm just explaining why i don't give a crap. hopefully nothing will happen and today will be a safe, enjoyable day for all.

ps- i got the rage against the machine dvd and some of it just downright bothers me. these guys are a joke sometimes... geeeeez

vomit sessions (very old)

impetus101@yahoo.com — Wed, 03 Jul 2002 04:35:47 GMT

sweet asphyxiation
meandering melee of the mind
terrestrial reasoning bites at logic
leaving a strong desire for withdrawal
sweet, sweet chance of consumption
waters of charybdis simply seducing
engulf me whole and never let go
let your churning waters of tranquillity
plunge me ever further
into the nether of your grasp
your clutches, resolute
your scent, soothing
i ask one thing of you

drown me
in your love.

untitled
the night sky seemed distant;
untouchable
when i saw you standing there
alone and tired, my heart cried out
every part of me fought to hold you
and i didn’t even know why
an air of anticipation hung thick
thick as my resolve to carry out
that which i longed for so much
minutes passed in the starlight
your smile brought me to my knees
and right then and there
a place i’d been so many times before
it happened.

suddenly it all came crashing down
those cold, harsh hands tore me away
and like a brick wall, reality struck
i cried and cried, none of it happened
none of it would ever happen
my heart; strangled and starved
there was no hand to hold
no laughter to be heard

the night sky was distant;
untouchable.

vicious cycle

a vicious, vicious cycle of pain in every element
why did you speak deceitfully on those nights
systematically destroying me
and leaving my dreams a war-torn wasteland
why did you say those things on the telephone
to wrench my soul back and forth,
wringing every last drop of blood and tears you could find
onto your empty shoulder

maybe when you’re lonely again you’ll be sorry
but i won’t be
maybe when you’re down on your luck, you’ll need a shoulder to cry on
it won’t be mine
because this mien has been torn violently apart
and your confusion and your resolution and your tears and your scars and your smiles and your kisses and your hugs and your glances and your words

are the very definition of history.

#532
preconceived notions of how to tackle monolithic pain we all stumble upon that joyous day of emergence from our mother’s womb. crawling and bawling quite a sickening cycle at the least. dull the pain, dull the pain, dull the pain. when you conclude your true motives for injecting naked words, bare sentiments come back and i’ll have a knife in my hand for you. an endless wasteland of selfishness where acts are committed for self-gain and deceit... as if it hasn’t had its claim on lives enough already. tears and sonnets all brewed in a pot of disgrace is all i’ve got in the end. screaming, screaming, screaming i’ve been staying up too late and waking up too soon to listen to the stained cries reminiscent of times when this sour blood didn’t bite at reality every moment of the day.

rest.

you told me things that unlocked that labyrinth of my soul and now that the truth has been stabbed where it never should have been, the door is padlocked with tears and an air of forgotten happiness only you could leave behind

stole this.. and yes, i'm bored

impetus101@yahoo.com — Wed, 03 Jul 2002 02:55:24 GMT

Name: gino, not luigi or luigeno or luigino or geno
Nicknames: hotcakes, etc etc
School: florida virtual school yeah baby!
Height: 6 foot i think
Siblings: david jr.
Pets: skip... who i'd like to murder because he's gotten me in trouble whenever i sneak out by barking
How many cd's do you own? couple hundred
How many mp3s do you own? own? own? not sure. but i downloaded like 1200
What color are your shoes? black
Describe your bedroom: bulletin board posters stereo etc etc, no television though.. phased that out years ago
Are you a vegetarian? EAT BEEF DIE HAPPY BITCHES
How about an aspiring actor/actress? ya, right
What famous person dead or alive would you interview if you had the chance?probably ernesto guevara
What movies do you have almost all the lines memorized to?i dont memorize lines to movies cock
Who named you? my parents, after my grandfather, geno
What is right next to you? stairs
What are the last four digits of your home phone number? 0563
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? whoopie goldberg or stone cold steve austin
How many people are on your buddy list? 78 in the ladies column, 53 in the lads column
How's the weather right now? hot and muggy
Are you too shy to ask a girl/guy out? nope, if i intend to i will
If you could change your name, what would it be?rawlings
What will your first son's name be?mcauly
What will your first daughter's name be? jemima
Dysfunctional family? not typically
What posters do you have in your room?rage against themachine, soon to be kinks, billie holiday, queen, uhh britney spears beacon in the storm umm ireland images etc etc
Are you talking to someone right now? yes, my alexandra
What time do you wake up in the mornings? 10 i guess
Where would you retire to? ireland
What are your pet peeves?people who don't call when they say they will..
What makes you happy? them broads
What makes you sad? when i'm glad but then it's bad so i get sad about fads
What song are you listening to right now?marley- no woman no cry
Do you have a LiveJournal? duh, moron
If you were an ancient Greek god(dess) what would you be god of? sex, yeah yeah
----------------------FAVOURITES----------------------
Colors:blue and green and brown
Kind of music:pretty much anything that's enjoyable
Cartoon character: coach mcguirk
Food: steak with hamburgers and chinese sausage (i seriously have never eaten so much meat in my life)
Drink: water
Candy: skor bars bitch
Talking to people on the phone or in person: in person
favorite language you can't speak: italian
Gold or silver: silver and gold, silver and gold... i forget the rest of the song that guy sings in rudolph
Day of the week: saturday
What is your anthem: people before profits
Best song to make out to: any fucking song as long making out is happening
Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter: tolkien for life bitch
----------------------DO YOU BELIEVE...----------------------
In God? yup
In Heaven/Hell? yup
In life on other planets? yup
In miracles? yup
In fate? not sure
It's possible to remain faithful forever? surely
In astrology? yeah it's real
In magic? there is, yeah
----------------------FRIENDS AND CRUSHES-------------------
Do you have a bf/gf? nope nope
Love anyone? sure
Who's your loudest friend? jordan lyon
Who is the smartest? probably bartholomew... him or justin.. maybe jordan... oh wait, no.
Who do you go to for advice? several people... cleo mostly
Who do you cry with? no one
Do you have any gay or lesbian friends? it's possible?
Do you have a best friend? yes
Name a cool quality in 5 of your friends: all my friends are cool.. i dont feel like listing
Last person you kissed? uh someone....
Most important trait for a bf/gf? honesty
Do you want to kiss someone right now? how about you go on a several week-long trip with your family, and deprive yourself of any sort of interaction with anyone, and tell me if you'd want to kiss someone. moron.
Who would you choose? jessica.
Would they want to kiss you too? ya know... i'm not too sure.
----------------------DO YOU....----------------------
Smoke? nope
Do drugs? nope
Sleep with stuffed animals?nope
Live in the moment? all the time
Play an instrument?yess
Go to church? yup
Do well in school? sort of...
Go to or plan to go to college? yes, i'm going
Have any piercings? nope
Have any tattoos? not yet...
Hate yourself? nope
Have an obsession? a few, actually
Collect anything? some things...
Wish on stars? nope
Like your handwriting? it's terrible
Care about looks? to a certain extent, sure
Consider yourself tolerant of others? hmmm not sure.
Consider love a mistake? depends on who it's directed at
Carry a donor card? nope, these squishies are mine

----------------------LAST THINGS YOU DID-------------------
Last book you read: gandhi, the story of my experiments with truth
Last movie you saw: minority report
Last song you heard: the kinks, sunny afternoon
Last thing you had to drink: water
Last thing you ate: pizza
What was the last film you saw in the cinema:minority report
What did you do for your last birthday? absolutely nothing...
----------------------HAVE YOU EVER...----------------------
Been Mean? of course
Been sarcastic? all the time
Talked to someone you've had a crush on? what do you think i am
Missed someone? right now, in fact
Fought with your parents? all the time
Laughed until you've cried? at times
Watched a sunrise/sunset? am i alive?
Went to the beach at night? of course
Lied to get off the phone? yup
Written a poem? yup
Bought a cd for just one song?no, moron
Been in an airplane? several times
If so where were you flying to? south america
Been so drunk you blacked out? nope
Missed school because it was raining? nope
Kept a secret from a friend? probably
Had an imaginary friend? if bob saget counts, sure
Wanted to hook up with a friend? haha unfortunately
Cried during a movie? ha, me?
Liked a teacher?i had so many hott teachers
Prank called someone? i made a cd of it
Had a hickey? haha yes, twenty dollars if the person who gave me em replies
----------------------TODAY HAVE YOU....--------------------
Smiled? sure
Laughed? sure
Cried? nope
Danced? i thrusted my hips, does that count
Been sarcastic? uh huh
Talked to an ex? i am right now haha
Watched your favorite movie? nope

wow, that was intensely unfulfilling.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Mon, 01 Jul 2002 04:53:46 GMT

went to a drive-in movie tonight... same one my dad used to sneak into at my age and bring in kegs of alcohol. nothing changes around here, it's ridiculous.

this was yesterday at my cousin's birthday party

impetus101@yahoo.com — Fri, 21 Jun 2002 05:37:37 GMT

farewell, see you all in a while.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Wed, 19 Jun 2002 17:08:19 GMT

go ahead and mark down biance's new video for austin powers as yet another reason why corporate-sponsored everything blows monumental ass

impetus101@yahoo.com — Wed, 19 Jun 2002 00:54:30 GMT

today was interesting... i feel like such a clutz sometimes though. stumbling over my words like a knave and all.

yeah now i really don't want to leave.

impetus101@yahoo.com — Tue, 18 Jun 2002 15:39:42 GMT

"S.P. adds: "In primarily Hispanic and/or East Indian communities, wiggers can be found too, but there are more "ginos" found there. "Gino" is not a derogatory term aimed against the Italians, it is a term used for persons mainly wearing tear-away Adidas track pants, tight shirts, and with hair more oily than the Exxon Valdez. Ginos perfer to drive white Honda Civics with "low wheels," tinted windows, and expensive streo systems. The music they play is abstract, because they put the bass all the way up, and the treble all the way down, so that the noise that comes out of the speakers is basically what you would sound like if you talked with your open hand firmly pressed against your mouth. You may have heard of the term "gino" but maybe you haven't. Gino Beats are the shit they play in their cars."

impetus101@yahoo.com — Tue, 18 Jun 2002 03:47:13 GMT

her: usually when you think "communist", segregation and slavery of blacks pops into your head

goodness gracious the mccarthyism and negative propaganda of half a century ago is still having its effects. this is not a bashing or a criticism or the remotest intentioned form of condescension, but just a taking note of how much society, from an early age, forms our minds and our associations...

just a note to all of you out there that are wondering what's going on, communism combats the oppression and socially negative effects it has on the minorities of our society... it's pretty much the antithesis of what was thought here

quote of the year

impetus101@yahoo.com — Tue, 18 Jun 2002 02:28:51 GMT

VinPig: his bulge is disgusting
VinPig: ahh
VinPig: we need to buy him some baggier shorts
VinPig: so u cant see that
VinPig: thats just indecent

i'm alone... in the service of the queen

impetus101@yahoo.com — Mon, 17 Jun 2002 21:45:53 GMT

yeah i went over justin's today and we traversed many leagues... arising victorious of course. now i've come home to finish the last of this wretched school... and later i think i'm gonna go see a movie with mary at the dollar theatre. it's hard to concentrate on your intellectual weaknesses when nickelodeon is blaring by your side.

beautiful.

it's the principle, stupid

impetus101@yahoo.com — Mon, 17 Jun 2002 14:53:33 GMT

ok i just realized 1,200 mp3's downloaded with a 56k is probably a bit excessive.

lookin' pretty eight-ball

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sun, 16 Jun 2002 01:19:36 GMT

yeah, i had a swell time today. hung out with a certain someone that i realized i wanted to hang out with after hanging up... don't regret calling back one bit. now i feel like writing... it's sad that over the years my creative outlets have been narrowed down to solely writing... it used to be so much more.

(i'd eat people if it was legal)

haha

impetus101@yahoo.com — Sat, 15 Jun 2002 14:38:10 GMT

well the morning after i can look in retrospect and see that some sort of goblin was orchestrating events to unfold last night... a rising strategic cacophony of things not going right at all... and when that happens you fold under the pressure and sometimes break. yeah. it was just eerily ridiculous how badly it went.

it's another day and it's gloomy outside.